Why Can’t I Stop Eating?!?

Updated: Mar 3

Bonjour, Beauty. Sooo, how many times have you uttered those words before? Feeling desperate to understand why you can’t put the food down? What’s my damage? Why can't I stop thinking about food? I have no self control. I’m weak. I‘m an emotional eater. Ouf, I know. I know these harsh words all too well.

Is this resonating with you? I kind of hope so, otherwise, I’m feeling really exposed and alone right now. Seriously, though - what if we took away the harshness, the judgments and the labels and started looking at WHY you don’t stop eating. Why is it soothing? Why do you continue to turn to food even though you are not hungry?

What’s the payoff for you - for continually eating? What’s the benefit for constantly thinking about food?

For me, my payoff was the pleasure I felt whilst eating. Once I was able to honestly see that I didn’t have anything in my life that called to me louder than food, I knew I had to shift my focus. (obvi, there are many things we can use to distract ourselves from our lives and ourselves; however, for these writings, I will focus on food and out of order eating).

I wouldn't stop eating because there was nothing I enjoyed better, nothing I’d rather be doing. Food was the joy in my day. When I ate, I felt something, I thought I felt a connection to me. NEWS FLASH - food is not an authentic connection to ourselves!

It took me a moment to wrap my head around this. I also just thought that I liked food - Well, doesn’t everyone? Of course, liking food isn’t the problem, the problem is when we use it outside of it’s natural purpose.

Food's natural purpose is to fuel us; to keep us alive, Not to replace joy.

So what’s your payoff, Sis? What keeps you eating outside of hunger?

Oh la la, No Vacancy…

I live part of the year in France where the French are known for taking their enjoyment of food very seriously. So, like them, I’m totally normal to looove food, right? Nooot exactly. I’ve come to learn that there is a difference between diving deep into food and diving deep into my life. One can enjoy the food that the eating occasions brings, and one can use food as an excuse to numb, to stuff, and to avoid. Enjoying food is not the same as enjoying life.

For example, the French slow down, sit down, and focus on the eating occasion. They are present. Food is the fuel; life is the pleasure. When they are satisfied they move back into living life. So many of us turn to food as our enjoyment. This was me - I didn’t have anything I’d rather be doing, so eating was the pleasure in my day and, of course, it was hard to pull away.

I was basically eating alll daaay looong; it was all just way too much for my body.

I would feel full, crowded, uncomfortable, and then feeling crappy became my focus. I wasn’t available for much else. In general, I knew I was feeling disconnected from a life that I was proud of and that lit me up - disconnected from a life I desired. I didn’t realize that using food like this was getting in the way of the clarity I was seeking.